Ever since I retired my trusty RD350 from the daily commute in favour of new hotness Duke 390, I lack a certain olfactory impact. This was never a problem with the RD, belching fragrant blue smoke as it did. I smelled of sweat and petrochemicals in my decade-odd on the bike, but I still found a bride and continued to be gainfully employed.
Cut to present day, that rough feeling at the back of the throat is gone, making me wonder if — on balance — the odd cigarette wouldn’t be that bad for me. My pants aren’t greasy. I’m unsure how quickly I can disassemble a carburettor with nothing but a coin and saliva. My clutch forearm is contracting back to human size. My hair is going. I have trouble sleeping. Chyawanprash fortified with gold isn’t helping.
But I think I’ve found my panacea. Flying Tiger Motorcycles sells a candle that’s touted to be scented with racing two-stroke oil. Single ester? Double? Can I run an oil pump? What about a conditioning rinse after? I don’t care anymore. Just take my money.